Literal Interpretations v. Metaphor, Or: Are All of You Fucking Morons?

Biblical literalness has always irked me. It's fucking obvious that God didn't intend for us to read the Bible literally, and then only read the Bible. There are a hell of a lot of metaphorical and literary- not literal, literary- devices used in the Bible, to great effect; the problem is people take these things and try to apply them literally, which is stupendously silly.

The Flood. I'll just use this. I won't note how Genesis is basically a shortened version of evolution, told so people who didn't even get how genetics worked (except in a very, very rough way- "we breed these cows we'll get cows like them... wonder why?") would understand that God made everything. I won't get into the whole discussion of the fact that if you don't accept evolution as true, then where the hell did Cain get his wife? Did he bang one of his sisters?

No sense.

But now, the Flood. Let's talk about the Flood. The basic story is this, stripped of all stupidity:

The world went evil. Like, fucked-up evil. People doing murders, mass murders, rapes, theft, horror, left and right. General madness. There's only a few good people left on the planet, headed by Noah, who's basically the rabbi of this remaining congregation (which gets absorbed into his family by marriage, making him patriarch of the whole kit and kaboodle).

So God decides it's time to start over, and Noah spends five hundred years building a boat big enough to handle all the animals and his family, and preaching, preaching to try and get others to join. I don't remember if that was successful, not successful, or left up to the reader.

But anyway, afterwards God floods the entire world, and lets Noah and his family live. And then, at the end, God promises to never do it again- and creates the rainbow as a symbol of his promise.

So that's the story, highly abridged. What does it mean?

A literal interpretation is silly. It ends up saying God flooded the world, which isn't possible because there isn't enough frigging water, not on the whole planet. Secondly, it says God killed everybody, an event I think we'd notice, and that everyone is descended from Noah, something that, genetically, I think we'd notice.

Now, metaphorically, what does it say? You could be an idiot and say God is vengeful, but that's because you're stupid. No, what one does it look at it in light of the rest of the Bible, which focuses on God's love for the weak, and well, flat out states that God is love.

No, what it's saying, through literary devices, is actually heart-warming. It says that God will protect even one good man (Sodom and Gomorrah are the other class examples, where God was willing to spare an entire city of rapists if there could be found but a few good people.) It says that God never forgets those who have done good, and he will always reward his faithful, no matter how few there are.

It also uses the classic literary device of "the bad guy"; sometimes, a dude is a villain and that's all you need to know. That persons or persons is representing evil, they're not meant to be thought about. In this case, the rest of the world serves this purpose, not to say that everyone is evil, but to make a point- that one good family will be spared, even if literally everyone else on the planet is evil. That's a pretty damn bold and heroic thing for God to say.

As for the Flood, serves the literary purpose of general destruction and God's awesomeness, not a theological point- except that water cleanses, perhaps a symbolism there, but I'd not attribute anything to God on this basis.

But the rainbow? That tells me something else. God so hated to kill all those people that he decided never to do it again. It was a sign of how much God loved the world that destroying it, no matter how evil it was, just about broke His heart. (and probably was also a meta-literary device to make sure no later authors would ever do the same thing with a different story in the Bible)

This, to me, is the core of God. Good, love, forgiveness. I wonder how anyone else can see a different God in these books- perhaps because they are being literal. Some books are actually "historical", in the sense of involving real people, real events. I also leave great miracles up to everyone else- I've no doubt God could do those things, but I've doubt that he did do those things (which is a very different proposition).

Atheism = People without the balls to be nihilists

It'll probably shock some people that I'd love to be an atheist. It'd be awesome. I'd screw over everyone. I'd love it. Atheism would be so freeing for me.

You see, part of the hell and problem with being a Christian is having your hands tied. Being a Christian means that not only do you know that that guy over there wrong, often monstrously so, it prevents you from killing him. It gives you the knowledge to hate the man, but not the means with which to finish him off. Love thy enemies. There is no harsher commandment.

Doing good is a bitch. It's a theme that crops up again and again throughout the Bible. Job laments that the evil prevail- usually really prevail, we're talking the guys who own white mansions here. Jesus Christ Himself was crucified for the temerity of being, well, Good. Gandhi got the shit beat out him a couple of times. So did Martin Luther King Jr. Stalin shot a lot of people.

I'd love to be an atheist. And none of this pussy New Atheist shit, either. I think atheists these days don't have any balls. Why declare " Oh, there's no God, we're all just clever monkeys in this meaningless, mechanical universe", and then claim there's some meaning, some "Good", to it all? What a cop-out. Be fucking honest. Go all the way. Be a serious, honest-to-Nothing atheist, a serious "fuck all of you and the society you are built on" atheist.

Don't try to pretend that you can get rid of that troublesome God, but then keep Him around in the form of "Good for Goodness' sake." Secular humanists, I'm looking right at you. There's no scientific basis for doing good. Even claiming that it's evolutionarily useful (which it is) doesn't mean we, as rational, self-determining beings, should have to do it. Why do I care if the species survives? I'm going to die, no fucking way around it, and I don't really care what happens to the rest of you.

Trying to maintain some idea of Good is just another way of saying God, and it impresses nobody. All it is is atheism clapping itself on the back for getting rid of that pesky God, then turning around and worshiping Him in a new form. It's still religious worship. I don't think religion will ever disappear- not just because I believe God actually exists, but because most atheists worship Him even if they do it all ass-backwards.

There's no way to scientifically test "Good". Or "God", for that matter. These are issues that cannot be found to exist, period. They belong to the realm of the spirit and the mind. They are the Great Maybe's, the potentials and possibilities that go beyond mindless science and technology. They are our souls. Atheists love to claim against God on the basis that science hasn't found him yet, but then do Good because it's "Good" to do so. Ridiculous.

I believe, personally, that it's just atheists who don't want to be associated with God right now (because our society has some really, really negative connotations with that word right now), but don't want to go against society's principles and, you know, have free will and the whole shebang. They'd much rather cower down and simper, doing "good things because you should"- or more accurately, because society, which is heavily influenced by Christianity, told them it was good, so they scamper off to go do it. They have no free will- they mindlessly accept what they were taught in school. It is good, so I do it. No reflection. No critical examination of what they believe, or the implications if you decide to kill off God, as Nietzsche once put it. Nothing.

I almost wish they would. It would make for a much more interesting world.
But back to why I want to be an atheist. It would be so freeing. Do whatever you want! Want that girl over there? Rape her! Want some money? Steal it! Why do you care? We're all just clever animals anyway, and there's no metaphysical justice waiting for you after death. If the police can't find you- and as the son of a police officer, I know that the police too often don't- then you are safe, secure. Or, in fact, go past that- go beyond that. Be clever with it.

Become a world traveler. Hurt people in other countries, because the beauty of the international capitalistic system is such that people in other countries- poorer countries, capitalists say with a bit of horror- actually don't matter as much. The police in this country have trouble keeping up with the crime- what are the police in Third-World Countries, too often plagued by the predations and corruption that capitalism brings, going to do about it? And if you travel often, you become that perfect criminal- the one that crosses borders and gets the cops tangled up in so much red tape that they will never find you, snug in your burrow of crimson adhesive.

People do this every day. We call it capitalism. Rush Limbaugh did it. He went to another country to have sex with a young girl who wasn't of legal age, and to do drugs.

Capitalism won, and so the worst idea anyone has ever had in the history of the world has taken over the planet and is killing it, bit by bit. Everyone else is just meat for capitalism's machine- the rich people are there to consume, the poor there to produce. It's a predator/prey cycle worse than anything nature could come up with, even at her worst.

You know, I think that may be the point. Capitalism is destroying religion. It's not making anyone any better. We are moving towards atheism because Capitalism denies any emotion, any connection between people (obey the machine). Capitalism crushes faith.

God, what I'd give to see socialism win.

But! I hear atheists argue. What about humanism? Can't an atheist be ethical?

I ask, why? Why?

There is no higher reason in atheism. That's the point of atheism. The definition- no God. It doesn't even matter what you call what you believe isn't there- the point is that it isn't there. And I'm not going to pretend that not getting the most kick out of my life- by giving in to every impulse, by screwing people literally and figuratively, wouldn't be fun. It'd be a blast, actually.

I believe that ethical atheists and secular humanists are playing a game of pretend with themselves. God bless them for the work they do, but they are lying to themselves. They aren' atheists.

Conservatism- The Basics of Fear

The basis of conservatism is fear. To understand conservatives, you must understand fear. They bathe in it, drink it, live it and become it.

They are afraid. They are afraid because a man belonging to a non-white race- races they are terrified of- is in a position of power over them. They are afraid because the government is bigger and stronger than they are, and they are terrified of it.

They are afraid, because, when they were in power, they oppressed black people- mostly out of fear. Read papers from the slavery times. Every other story was a lurid description of the possible happenings if a black slave escaped- some culminating in the ruin of society. They are afraid that the sins of the fathers will be visited upon them, and that their own sins will be visited against them, for after all, it is what they would do when in power.

Why the distrust of perfectly good, perfectly peaceful things that will benefit everyone? Fear. Fear that behind the smiles is a knife. Fear that no one can do good. Fear, and its twin brother Paranoia, are the diseases and drug of choice among conservatives. They can't trust that health care won't kill them all because they cannot trust, period.

Fear. Fear is everything for conservatives.

Always fear.

First Post

So, on this first post, I just feel like clearing some air... and giving some information out.

I am a Christian and, because of that, a progressive/liberal/whatever you feel like calling it... not despite, because. Many people have trouble wrapping their heads around that notion. I feel like battering that right now, because I read a series of blog posts about Dan Halloran, a Pagan who is running for District 19's city council in Queens, NY right now on, of all things, a Republican ticket, and who is being defended by his fellow GOP members. What stunned me- beyond the idea of the Republicans, traditionally the bastion of poorly thought out, theologically incorrect, and reactionary Christianity, the sort that hates everyone else, supporting a Pagan- were the comments on that page. It was a blog that was adamantly progressive, powerfully liberal.

Several posts came out strongly against religion. Not against crazy religion. That's a different topic. I think we all agree that any religion worth the name needs to be sane, not crazy, not an excuse to be racist or sexist, and in general, not crazy. Those are pretty easy standards to meet- just be not crazy. Don't deny evolution, don't kill people, you know, simple stuff.

These posts, though, weren't about those kinds of religions. It was about religion itself. Now, this offends me on a pretty personal level. This is the core of who I am; I am a Christian, first and foremost. That's probably why I'm so caught up over a statistically insignificant number- of forty posts, only four were against religion directly. (I ignore implication, for implying is a silly thing.) That's equivalent to about ten percent. Nothing to write home about.

But it still bothers me, because it is a symptom of a bigger issue. The current state of affairs in America is that there is no true religious freedom. There is simply a Choice: will you go with the crazy, anti-science, kill everybody who's not a White God-Fearun' Amerikun, fundamentalist Christians? Or do you go with the arrogant, certain, There is No God and I am His Prophet Atheists?

Anybody with any sense can tell you that a choice between two horrible options is no choice at all.

Any ideas?